Everything is broken.

I had another post scheduled to go up today. It had nothing to do with hope, Christ or the events of Friday in Connecticut. I didn't feel like I had anything else to say that hadn't already been said. Maybe I still don't.

But last night I went to Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God show at the Ryman. The first half of the show is writers-round-style, and each artist (all amazing Nashville artists) played 1-2 songs. The second half is the Behold the Lamb of God series of songs, which tell the story of the birth of Christ.

Throughout the show it was difficult to keep my composure. Nearly all of the songs played in the first half were marked with brokenness. Some were intentionally played in light of Friday's events. Some were not. But they all sang of terrible sorrows--losing children late in pregnancy, having an abusive family, dealing with the death of a child. Andrew Peterson's latest album tells of the hardships of growing up and getting lost in the world--of realizing the world is a dark place and you're not as capable of navigating it on your own as you thought.

Everything is broken, I thought. Everything. This is not how it's supposed to be.

That's true, you know. This isn't how it's supposed to be.

But the beautiful thing was that the light of truth broke through the sorrow and pain in those songs to reveal the glory of God's faithfulness and mercy.

We reject him constantly but he loves us still.

I'm going to stop writing my words now, because I think the words of this poem-turned-song speak far more than I could. It was sung last night with two single voices and spoke such truth in light of recent days. It was written during the Civil War, and it is as poignant today as it ever was:

I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, and wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come, The belfries of all Christendom Had rolled along The unbroken song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way, The world revolved from night to day, A voice, a chime, A chant sublime Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth The cannon thundered in the South, And with the sound The carols drowned Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent The hearth-stones of a continent, And made forlorn The households born Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head; "There is no peace on earth," I said; "For hate is strong, And mocks the song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on the earth, good-will to men."

What Instagram Can Do With Swiss Miss

It's hard to believe there was once a time when we might have felt like losers for taking a night in rather than going out. Yes, we'd sit on the couch with our beverage of choice, cue up the DVR, lounge in our comfy pants and sigh, "I bet other people are doing things more interesting than I am." But not anymore.

Now, we have Twitter and Instagram. Now we can make any otherwise insignificant activity seem like an event in and of itself.

An average night at home can turn into a Christmassy wonderland in just a few moments with the addition of some instant Swiss Miss hot chocolate, a DVD of Elf and the "Rise" filter.

Things like reading, cooking dinner or writing thank-you notes may seem mundane, but simply documenting our activities can make them into A Thing when previously they were perhaps not so special.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Exhibit A:

"Spending the evening writing thank-you notes with a glass of wine while Mariah serenades me! #thisisthelife"

Exhibit B:

"Relaxing night reading my favorite book with my favorite people! [insert Instagram photo of a book page and family in the background]"

I myself have taken part in this numerous times, and I submit that this is actually a positive thing. It's optimistic. Suddenly "man, I have to write thank-you notes" or "man, I have nothing to do tonight" turns into a little space you've created and added comforts to to make your night feel special.

But of course, it doesn't count unless no one sees it, so we have to arrange the coffee cup or the wine glass next to the DVD with the Christmas tree in the background so that others can get the full effect and be totes jeal. [Yep, I said totes jeal. Probably erased any inclination you had whatsoever to be totes jeal of me in any capacity due to my lack of coolness.]

And let's face it, the likes and comments don't hurt. If someone else says your night is interesting, then it is. Y'know? It's irrefutable. It's in writing, on the Internet.

I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but I have definitely assembled inanimate objects to represent an experience a time or two. But…I just really like Instagram, you guys. It's fun. And I'm not against things that are fun.

Have you ever used Twitter or Instagram to make your otherwise-average experience A Thing?

Speculations on Beyonce's $50 Mil Pepsi Deal

I've decided that since I talk so much about Beyonce on this here blog of mine as it is, it's high time I just embrace it and make it a thing. So without further ado, I present to you...

Your source for day-old headlines and unsolicited commentary about the world's greatest entertainer SLASH user-of-on-stage-wind-machines.

(These articles now fall into that category, whether she is the main subject or just a reference: Letter to Babyonce,  Botonists Name Fern After Lady Gaga, Um...who is casting The Talk? )

Today in Beyonce News, you may have heard that she has signed a $50 million deal with Pepsi, which is being touted as "MORE than just an endorsement" because they're going to fund her creative projects or something.

Though I'm not sure how that's entirely different, because I'm almost certain if they paid her $50 million just to be on their billboards and do a TV spot or two, the money would still be used to fund her creative endeavors (and pay for babyonce's ivy league education or…y'know…freelance spacepod decorator business. Whatever rich heirs do in 2032.)

Putting aside the fact that Beyonce probably hasn't drunk soda in over a decade, she has to know that Coke and all its subsidiaries are irrefutably, inherently better than Pepsi and its counterparts.

She's from Texas, dang it. In this case, I consider that the South, and southerners should know such things.

So admittedly I'm a little disappointed in her. But I'm willing to overlook this momentary (50-million-dollar) lapse in judgment in the hopes that something good comes of it.

This probably would have excited me:

But then I remembered I drink Diet Coke exclusively. Seriously, if a fast food restaurant has Pepsi, it's a dealbreaker for me. We will drive to the next Chic-fil-A or Burger King. (Lookin' at you, Arby's.)

So alas, I will not be able to take part in these delightful Beyonce cans.

The article does say that she will be involved creatively, so who knows what could happen next.

A short film loosely based on the inner turmoil of Destiny's Child (with not-so-subtle Pepsi logos plastered across buildings in the background)?

A vending machine where you have to learn a Beyonce dance move and perform it in order for your drink to dispense? (That one could use Kinect technology and be a triple-cross-promotion. I'm a marketing genius, you guys.)

A Pepsi-sponsored trip to Nashville for Beyonce and family where they show up at my house and we become best friends? What? I don't know. It could happen. I'm giving Pepsi lots of free publicity here, against my better judgment. (Long live Diet Coke.)

Coming up this season on... Beyonce News: The HBO documentary. Guys, this is going to be awesome. Stay tuned for updates on #beyoncedocwatch2012.

Oh, AND the Superbowl performance. GET EXCITED.

She makes it super easy to have an amateur news segment about.

Would you buy a Pepsi can with Beyonce's face on it? Why or why not?

The Tale of the Royal Baby (And Some Unsolicited Parenting Advice)

Once upon a time, there was a fair maiden named Kate.

She had flowing brown locks, and her figure-flattering yet classy clothing was the talk of the nation. The townspeople spoke in hushed whispers, "where dost she get such fine frocks?" then immediately rushed in droves to Ye Olde Fancypants Shoppe to buy the exact same dress.

Now this beautiful maiden was betrothed to a very British-looking prince named William. Though he had a bald spot fare and a more handsome younger brother, the maiden still deemed him worthy of her hand in marriage and the opportunity to be a royal.

So the two held a ceremony the likes of which had never been seen.

Though most only knew the groom's first name to be "Prince" and last to be "William," peasants across the pond even huddled over computer screens and televisions in the dead of night to watch the fair maiden glide down the aisle past Sir Elton John and to see what kind of cockamamy hats her guests were donning.

After the hoopla cleared and the bride and groom made their global rounds having beers with commoners and kissing babies and whatnot, the couple settled in their castle and sat on thrones all day and ate crumpits and did Zumba or something. (This author has no idea what royalty do day-to-day in 2012.)

Life went on as usual for months, though not without the occasional embarrassment to the monarchy via the irresponsible more handsome brother and inability of the duchess to wear a swimsuit whilst outside. And all the while the townspeople speculated as to when there would be a tiny prince or princess to make feel weird and turn into a former child star with unresolved issues.

Until one day in December, the sun broke through the clouds and young Kate and William strode to the royal balcony to make an important announcement:* they are with child!

Oh, happy day! How the celebrity gossip magazines and moms everywhere rejoiced! How the American beauties snickered at the thought of dear Kate packing on a few!

And here this author would like to shift the focus to the parents-to-be and the small monarch growing inside our heroine's uterus.

Dearest William and Kate, the time has come. Congratulations! I have but a few tips for your highnesses, and I pray you heed them well.

Though we may seem excited now, don't count on the support of the American people for the entirety of your offspring's childhood. You may not have noticed, but we have the attention span of a butterfly, and we will care for about 2.5 seconds after he or she is born, then go back to trying to force fame on Babyonce.

But don't worry, as our only real-live monarchs to look towards amid a sea of skinny cartoon princesses, you will always have a special place in our hearts. Especially considering the current popularity of Downton Abbey.

My second piece of advice is to keep your windows latched.

It's textbook fairytale. The doting parents say goodnight to their sweet new regal daughter, tuck her in her jewel-encrusted bassinet, tap Uncle Sir Elton on the shoulder to sing her a lullaby, and go off to bed.

Hours later when the castle is quiet, a jealous witch and/or sister climbs through the window, snatches the baby out of the crib and bounds down the turrets, never to be seen again (until 18 years later when the daughter is reunited with her parents).

Now, I'm not trying to make assumptions here, but have you seen Pippa? She's beautiful and she totally stole the show at your wedding, Kate. I wouldn't put it past her to be a snatcher. What do we REALLY know about her? I'm asking.

Is it just me or are those eyes hiding something?

My final piece of advice is to bring your child out into public in moderation only--about twice a month--so that the world doesn't get anxious and we know he or she is still alive, but please don't cover up the kid's face in an attempt to hide them from the paparrazzi. It just makes you look like a crazy person. It didn't work for Prince Michael and it won't work for Prince William Junior.

Also if it's a girl please dress her in tweed jackets and mary janes and cute hats. You're royalty, dang it. And Suri Cruise is watching you.

Love, Your Royal Subject (JK JK I'm American now, sucka.)

*Or maybe Perez Hilton broke the news on his blog. But that's not very regal.

Parks and Rec: The Movie

Some brilliant fan of Parks and Rec cut together scenes from the show to create this amazing trailer. Please enjoy.[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td0IpoQfwfA]

WHO KILLED LIL' SEBASTIAN??

Chris Brown and Rihanna's Instagram Crazy Parade

Apparently Chris Brown and Rihanna are causing QUITE the stir via Instagram lately. And as everyone knows, an Instagram is worth 1,000 words. Or at least a few misguided assumptions. Or beat poetry. As if Chris Brown wasn't the worst already (rivaled only by America's favorite trainwreck Lindsay Lohan), this is his latest escapade:

First, he lands himself in a Twitter feud (something I'm still only 1 percent convinced is a legitimate term) with some comedian lady and is just SO offended by the whole thing that he straight up quits Twitter altogether.

He then makes his return to social media with A VENGEANCE.

How, you ask? By posting controversial pictures of him and Rihanna on Instagram…together.

SCANDAL. INTRIGUE. ICK-FACTOR.

Everything a good publicity stunt needs.

In case you might feel uncomfortable seeing Rihanna wearing underwear paired with an oversized camo jacket while Chris Brown smokes nonchalantly in the foreground, I present you with an artist rendering of the most recent photo (by yours truly):

The "we don't care what nunna y'all think!" look on their faces says it all, doesn't it?

Click here to see the actual photo. 

(Full disclosure, if it provides any context for you, I watch Disney movies almost exclusively and the actual image didn't scar me for life. So you can probably handle it. But this is a family blog, right? Can't take any chances.)

I want to know who is TAKING these pictures. These are no myspace mirror shots, my friend. These are full-frame, planned, two-person shots with nary an arm jetting out of the frame in sight.

First of all, gross.

Second of all, would that not be the most awkward experience on the planet?

"Um, yeah, so just…look seductively at the iPhone…yup, that's fine I guess…and Chris, well, just…yep, that's douchey enough. Just keep doin' what you're doin'. Hold that pose…"

My hope is that this is all just performance art and everything that has happened with these two since approximately 2008 has all been a joke. All part of the master plan.

I don't think Chris is capable of that kind of strategic thinking, but Rihanna has to know what she's doing, right? Why else would she be putting up with this nonsense?

I think we've waited a respectable amount of time before sending in the professionals, but it's time to get Oprah in there and talk some sense into these yahoos. You know she's got opinions, right? Let her loose.

If she's busy, call Ellen. She always asks the hard questions. Maybe they'd all dance together to Crazy In Love and have a moment of clarity about where their lives are headed. Maybe they'd play a game where they had to carry balloons between their chin and their chest. I don't know; I'm not the expert mediator slash child-star-maker here. I can't do all the work.

Oh, and by the way, in the name of closure, Chris has restored his Twitter account. Which makes the hiatus about 36 seconds long. So if you were upset that you might not ever get the chance to feud with him publicly in 140-character-long arguments, never fear. That hope has been renewed.

If you could tell Rihanna (or Chris Brown) anything in light of this situation, what would it be? Who do you think would make a better mediator: Oprah or Ellen?

The Mystery and Audacity of the Advertising Truck

It weaves through rush hour traffic, blinding anyone in its path. It's a moving distraction, catching drivers' eyes in their peripheral vision and stealing their focus. It markets to you against your will. No one knows what's inside it.What is this mysterious vehicle, you ask?

The advertising truck.

As if we weren't advertised to enough on a daily basis, the advertising truck forces itself upon you simply by existing in your space. It tries to act all nonchalant, like, "don't mind me, I'm just a truck…going places and doing things like trucks do…" but it couldn't be more obnoxious.

I'm personally offended when I'm just trying to drive home from work and this scrolling neon sign is glaring at me directly in front of my face.

And let me just add that this obnoxiousness increases by approximately 65 percent when it starts getting dark at 4:30 p.m. By the time I'm driving home from work, this beacon of capitalism's stark contrast to the surrounding blackness is dangerous at best.

Seriously, it was all I could do not to slip into a trance in its lime green glow instead of focusing on the road in front of me while I passed it in the other lane.

But the thing I hate the most about these advertising trucks is--I have no idea what their function is. I mean, what are they carrying? And to where?

Are they actually going anywhere at all? Or are they just driving around aimlessly so that people see the ads?

I've spent a good portion of my life pondering these questions and have come up short every time. I can't find any language on the truck itself that indicates what the truck does other than show people blindingly bright (and scrolling, I might add) advertisements while they're trying to safely transport themselves to the grocery store and back.

I even caught a glimpse behind the scrolly-vinyl-ad-paper-stuff when I was sitting next to one at a red light the other day, but saw nothing. Just nondescript white nothingness. I tried to investigate further, but that was when I realized I was no longer watching the road and that these things are definitely a menace to society.

I mean, I get it. We live in the good ol' U.S. of A., and we get advertised to. A LOT. Behind the window in which I'm writing this post, I am staring at three different ads on CNN's site. All of them are orange.

But come on. Do these trucks seriously only serve to advertise? That seems like a serious waste of space. I feel like if the rest of the world knew about these trucks, we'd be toast. I'm an American (now), and even I think that's excessive.

Have you ever seen these trucks? Do you know if they DO anything?

To Chevy Chase, With Contempt

Really, Chevy Chase? Really? You're choosing NOW to leave Community?

The nerd-tastic cult comedy is already on its last leg, likely to only last through the spring, and you're backing out now?

Dan Harmon's gone. You've already shot almost all of the episodes for this season. Two of which are Halloween and Thanksgiving-themed, which are now having to air in the spring (never a great sign).

At this point, just ride it out, dude.

You might as well not turn the few people who still value your presence against you. Everyone already knows you're terrible to work with. It's not like people are beating down the door to have you on their show.

You're great and all, but I don't think you're in a position to call the shots anymore.

I don't really care as an audience member if you leave; I'm really just thinking of you, here.

It's just a shame that the cast couldn't stay intact for FOUR whole seasons. (Three and a half, I guess, but who's counting?) Kind of how it's a shame when couples who have been married for like 40 years get a divorce, y'know? Come on guys. You've made it this far.

I'm just saying. In a year or so you'd be set free from the show anyway, so you might as well not make a big thing out of it.

What ever happened to people just doing their work and going home?

Geez. You do one movie with Jonathan Taylor Thomas and you think you're big time or something.

I'm getting off track.

What I'm trying to say is, I really think this is a waste of everyone's time and effort. Just get back on that horse, play nice with the new showrunners for six months, and be a good sport about the whole thing. Stop acting like this show is some great injustice to be a part of and you're not getting the respect you deserve. You're on TV every once in a while on the last-place network, okay? How about a "thank you?" Talk about no respect.

Do you think Chevy should've ridden it out or is he justified in this?

Tumblrs Becoming Books, or "What I'm Doing Wrong"

You guys, I need to draw your attention to something.

I don't know when book publishers started valuing the short-lived success of Internet memes enough to pour hard-earned cash into publishing a book based on an unknown 20-something's Tumblr blog, but it is HAPPENING.

And I want in.

Suri's Burn Book (which I adore) recently became an actual book, and I also just discovered Feminist Ryan Gosling has become a real live printed book.

At least Suri's Burn Book requires chapters and sentences and syntax. Feminist Ryan Gosling is literally just "hey girl, [insert a phrase that incorporates a feminist theory and makes women feel good]" on top of a picture of Ryan Gosling. And the powers that be made it into a BOOK.

Real talk: HOW do I get on this train?

I like Ryan Gosling as much as the next girl. I consider myself somewhat of a pop-culture connoisseur. Why can't my book be the next ironic coffee table book you give to your best friend for Christmas, y'know?

I would also like to know how this author is getting around intellectual property rights at this point when she is assumably traipsing around the Internet stealing random photos of Ryan Gosling and writing on top of them. I don't know her personally, but I'm about 99.9 percent certain she's not BFF's with ol' RyGos, taking her own portraits of him on their frequent outings together. How is she accomplishing this? I'm asking. I want to know what she knows.

I'm sure the photos in the book were approved and paid for appropriately, but at this level of notoriety, is no one coming after her for the blog? Maybe Ryan Gosling just doesn't care. That'd be so Ryan Gosling of him.

Exasperated Agent Guy: "Ryan, this girl is using and benefitting from your likeness in her own professional endeavors." Ryan Gosling: "Whatevs, I'm no stick in the mud, I'm going to go wear suspenders and read Tolstoy or something." Exasperated Agent Guy: [HEAVY SIGH]

For what (preferably laid-back and/or not-Internet-savvy) celebrity can I imagine a personality and develop a wildly successful blog around that turns into wildly successful picture book?

It's time to put away those lofty dreams of affecting hearts and minds with the written word. This sounds like more fun.

Just think of it: young professionals with expendable income and an appreciation for pop culture references will pour over the pages, laughing and saying things like "Oh that Laura McClellan, she slays me" or "I have to show this to Piper. He or she will get a total kick out of this." (That's what hip kind of people will be reading it. People named Piper.)

I mean, at what point in society will I be able to make a living by running my unsolicited commentary about celebrities? Is that asking too much? Does Perez Hilton corner the market on that one? Because I'm not about to go toe to toe with that guy. I think I'd go zero to crying mess in about 4 seconds. (I don't like confrontation and I don't let sass roll off me very well. I can dish it out, but I can't take it, ok?)

I think I'm going off the rails, here.

All that to say, I think I have a new life-goal. Catch me in a clearance bin at a Barnes and Noble near you in about 18 months.*

Who should be my celebrity target for this new endeavor? I'm open to suggestion.

*Let it be known that I would consider it a privilege and an honor to even have a book at all, let alone for it to be thrown in a bin in a real live bookstore alongside legitimate authors.

Quitting Revolution

 

Consider this my resignation from watching Revolution. I've watched about six episodes, and I'm done.

It's not that it's a terrible show. Really. It's actually a pretty decent show if you ignore the female lead and her complete lack of enjoyable qualities and/or facial expressions.

It's just that I CANNOT HANDLE IT.

Not in the way that I cannot handle Friday Night Lights. Because by that I mean I can't handle the amount of positive emotions and just emotional emotions I feel towards it. And it's totally worth it.

But this is something different entirely.

It's the polar opposite of North Korea, meaning Everything is Terrible All The Time Always. (hashtag 30 rock reference)

Seriously. If they're not on the run from ruthless militia, they're trying to avoid being killed by random passersby or people with grudges against Miles.

It's constantly people being pushed to do terrible things out of desperation, like having to choose between shooting your friend or both being killed, and I hate it.

The most disturbing aspect to me is that in theory, this is feasible.

I mean, okay, what are the odds that something would kill all the power on the planet (and, inexplicably, other things that didn't run on electricity in the first place, like basically all modes of transportation).

But, let's say it did. The resulting society depicted in Revolution could totally happen, assuming everyone was pushed to their limits in order to survive and/or provide for their family.

It's even MORE depressing when you learn more of the characters' backstories because it humanizes them and makes it even more believable that they acted out of desperation and are now killing people without hesitation essentially so that they are one of the killers not the killed. It genuinely frightens me to think about. Plus I'm REALLY bad at knowing when people are bluffing, which would be a total liability in this scenario.

[NOT-IRONIC SPOILER ALERT]

No one is trustworthy in the entire show, except the guy who used to work for Google. And maybe Nora. I don't know. Jury's still out on that one. Even the guy who was part of The Resistance (who I assumed were the noble ones) near-fatally wounded Nora just because he wanted to avenge his wife and she got in the way.

They already killed off one of the main characters, which makes me think that 1) anyone could go at any second, because, let's face it, their lives are in danger 99.9 percent of the time and therefore 2) why am I investing in these people?

The 15% plot movement strung throughout the show to find out why the power was shut off is not worth the emotional trauma for my fragile heart.

And you may be far stronger than me, fellow viewer, but I for one can. not. handle. it.

Have you watched Revolution? What do you think?

James Franco's Latest Weird Thing (And What Ron Swanson Should Do About It)

Are we not done with James Franco yet?

I mean, whatever, he was fine in Spiderman and probably was okay in that 128 Hours movie that I refused to see because I am overly sensitive to gross and/or violent things, but come on.

He does 8 million things at a time which only serves to solidify his identity as a jack of all trades, master of none. Is anyone really like, "yeah man, I really just love James Franco. He's totally an artist on screen"? No.

Does he just keep churning out nonsense day after day because he knows it's not working and just can't bare to stop for five minutes and channel all his efforts into one thing that would actually be worthwhile? Not exactly the best approach, there, James.

In the words of Ron Swanson, "Don't half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."*

Come to think of it, James could use a swift kick in the pants from Ron Swanson. As could most people in hollywood. But I digress.

Most recently I have discovered his disturbing teddy bear "art," which was terrible enough on its own, but this week I unfortunately ALSO stumbled upon a music video he directed for R.E.M. starring...wait for it...Lindsay Lohan.

UGH.

Doesn't it just make you want to punch him in the face?

He really is the worst. I think he has become the James Franco of 30 Rock. At least he has in my head. You don't know he doesn't have a Japanese body pillow girlfriend, ok?

To save you some time, the video is basically a trippy five minutes filled with overlaid shots of the seedy underbelly of L.A. and Lindsey Lohan does what she does best, poses provocatively while someone takes pictures of her. Also she wears hipster glasses for about 3.5 seconds and then (for once) comes to her senses and takes them off. James Franco looks all artsy with old-timey cameras and takes some polaroids. End scene.

Combined with the song, it's equal parts annoying and depressing.

Can't you just picture Lindsay and James just sitting there in director's chairs smoking something unmentionable and watching the final cut on a monitor, nodding to each other and pontificating about how this video is totally a reflection on society and how everyone should just really quit judging everyone because we don't know their lives, you know?

Double ugh.

And really, R.E.M.? Is the mid-size club scene most 90's alt bands are playing nowadays just so unbearable that you had to align yourselves with this nonsense? I believed in you. As I do nearly all 90's alt bands. And you let me down. Don't make me say it, okay? Don't make me say it.

Fine, you've left me no choice. It's the end of the world as we know it.

Can we just give James the ol' hook and drag him off the proverbial stage already? Just send Ron in after him. Like anyone would even be mad.

Ron Swanson: "Alright son, that's enough out of you." James Franco: "But..I just have one more act where I set a dollhouse on fire and perform on aerial silks and call it performance art and then I release the whole thing as an interactive documentary!" Ron Swanson: "Exactly."

You know what? I propose we send Ron Swanson in whenever any celebrity becomes a particular nuisance to society.

Who do you think Ron should go after next?

*By the way, this exists on a cross-stitch hoop and I want it...nudge, nudge, people who want to get me a Christmas gift...

UPDATE: Ron Swanson has HEEDED my request. See evidence below:

He really is the greatest.

Demi Lovato's Insubordinate Eyebrows

I know what you're thinking. ANOTHER story about eyebrows? I mean, we can't get away from them, right? Can't we just focus on what really matters, like wars and elections and (apparently) Lindsay Lohan? Well, I'm sorry to inundate you with more eyebrow news, but this is hard-hitting analysis, here.

Demi Lovato's eyebrows have GONE ROGUE, you guys. First they're thin, then they're "full," then they're thin again, then BAM it's like Ron Swanson's mustache cloned itself and jumped onto her face.

Buzzfeed has been so kind as to aggregate all the eyebrows and compare them for us here.

Note: there are SEVERAL more gifs on the Buzzfeed article. I implore you to take a minute to view them, then come back to my post.

I just don't understand. I have so many questions.

1) How do you…replace that much eyebrow hair so quickly? Are there special eyebrow-enhancing devices? If so, are they sold exclusively in SkyMall? And who is their demographic? Is Demi now being sought as their spokesperson? Or did some poor intern-slave at the X factor have to pick up all the plucked hairs from the week before off of the floor and carefully glue them back on her face?

2) Is eyebrow style a thing now? Like, you can change it on a whim, then change it back without raising any…wait for it…eyebrows? Did Lady Gaga not know about this? Or did she just skip a few steps and shave hers off altogether? All of a sudden I can't remember if Lady Gaga has eyebrows...

3) Who is in charge of Demi's eyebrows, and why is this person so indecisive? Commit, already, eyebrow lady (or man. Not here to judge). We need to know if they're going to be old-lady-painted-on-thin or full-on-hair-monster so we as a society can judge this girl appropriately.

4) I like that someone at Buzzfeed sat around and examined Demi's eyebrows enough to compile this series of images detailing their fluctuating size. How do I get a job at that place?

5) Did she increase her eyebrow size because the people performing on stage couldn't see them well enough and therefore were unsure of her reaction to their performance? Maybe it's all about the kids, you guys. Maybe she's enduring these muppet eyebrows for the greater good. Maybe we should give her a medal of honor for it and crown her the queen of eyebrows. I don't know. I don't think this has ever been done before, so just go with it.

Has anyone ever written this many words about eyebrows? They're strips of hair above our eyes that convey emotion. Wow. Eyebrows are pretty amazing if you think about it. Let's all just reflect on the significance of eyebrows for a minute.

Which eyebrows are your favorite eyebrows? I like the "full" ones. Not to be confused with "thick" or "I think there are caterpillars on your face!"

A TV Viewer's Guide to The Networks

 

Recently I have discovered I see the four central networks as sort of having personalities in my head. Like the shows they air and the people who watch them mesh together to form character traits. I think your favorite network probably says a lot about you in that way. So I wanted to provide a guide to people who perhaps might not be as familiar with the networks so they could choose their favorite and therefore be judged by everyone else who disagrees.

That's what we're here for, right?

Let's begin.

CBS

CBS is great if you are still watching How I Met Your Mother ((I'm starting to feel about HIMYM the way I felt about The Office six months ago. Now that I essentially know how it ends for the characters I care about, I just want them to get there and be done, but I'm too invested to quit now.)) or ever wear a wife beater whilst sitting in a recliner.

I see CBS as kind of the old fogie of television networks. Mostly because their big draw seems to be Two and a Half Men and they refuse to make any of their shows viewable on iPads in any format whatsoever. And they boycott Hulu as well, which is annoying because we recently cut cable (I KNOW I KNOW. A post for another time. Spoiler alert: we're poor.)

Also because, well, look at their logo. Insert sad trombone here.

NBC

I have a love/hate relationship with NBC. I hate them for what they did to Conan (major party foul), and I hate them for what they're doing to Community and 30 Rock (I know they are on season 7 but I just want it to go on forever, ok?), but I love them for putting shows like Community and 30 Rock on the air in the first place. I also love them for putting Friday Night Lights on the air and allowing it to exist so that I could watch it on Netflix a year later and have it soar into my heart permanently forever. (I'm still grieving its loss.)

So NBC is a particularly perfect place for people aged 18-35 who like things that are funny and don't like things that are not funny. If CBS is the old fogie, NBC is the 25-year-old entrepreneur running an online marketing company out of his apartment. Sometimes he's kind of a douche, but at least you have a few things in common.

ABC

I feel like ABC is the family network. Not "family" in the way that iTunes movies means "family," by which I mean that they are all cartoons, but in the way that it has shows for all kinds of family members. You've got your accessible comedy Modern Family, you've got your dramas, no controversial cult comedies--really it's a well-rounded network that would look good on a college application. ABC's probably most like a 45-year-old family man who makes mistakes but has a good heart.

Fox

Fox is pretty much just reality shows and New Girl in my head. Is there anything else on Fox? Maybe some sort of action dramas they promote with an overly dramatic voiceover? Oh yeah, Glee. Is that show still on? Ugh.

Basically if you like dramatic performances and Zoey Deschanel you will like Fox. Fox is like a broadway star clinging to her former heyday (read: American Idol) but still performing with unwavering enthusiasm.

But really, New Girl is fantastic so Fox gains a lot of points there. Sidebar: is Winston really still here? I'm just asking.

What's your favorite network? Did I miss anything or get anything wrong in my descriptions?

Not-so-obvious Ramifications of the Bieber/Gomez Split

Editor's note: After tweeting a cathartic complaint about a lack of things to write about for today's post, I received three separate suggestions to write about the recent Bieber/Gomez trip to Splitsville, USA. So I thought to myself, three people can't be wrong. So this is what I wrote about. What can I say? I give the people what they want. It's probably no secret that I adore both Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber as individuals. At least with the Biebs. Selena you may be a little surprised by, since I talk about her about 67 percent less than I talk about Justin Bieber on my blog. But really, I talk about most things 67 percent less than I talk about Justin Bieber on my blog. So maybe you are not so surprised. Moving on.

Though I wasn't super invested in their relationship, I'm bummed they couldn't make it work.

Not so much for Selena's sake. She'll bounce back and date some sophisticated actor or something because she's classy and enjoyable and now 20 years old. (Spoiler Alert: I want to be her friend.)

But ol' Biebs, I'm worried for him. He was in a long-term relationship with a girl who is awesome and scandal-free (as of the time this post was written). People reports they've been together since February 2011, and that's just the "official" beginning. They were supposedly dating "quietly" before then.

That's almost two years, you guys. In teenage years, that's like a 27-year relationship. In teenage celebrity years you might as well be that couple from Up.

I just don't know if he's ready for the responsibility of turning down mean-looking models who are only famous because they date real celebrities just yet.

I mean, there's no telling what kind of menagerie of scantily-clad jokers are going to parade themselves before him.

I don't think his trusting 18-year-old heart is going to be an asset in this situation. Next thing you know we're seeing him bounce from iffy pop star to iffy pop star, spiraling downward into a sea of tabloids. And I just don't want that for him. And I don't want his sweet grandparents who helped raise him to have to live to see that kind of nonsense from their grandson.*

The other terrifying principle in this scenario is that rumbling in the distance you're hearing--the sound of a herd of rabid teenage girls barreling towards that hoodie-wearing crooner like it's 1996 and they're a mom looking for the last Tickle Me Elmo on Christmas Eve. (That stuff got real, right?)

It was bad enough when Selena was in the picture--that sweet girl having to endure threats from obsessed, insecure 14-year-olds who in reality could do nothing but sit behind a screen and type bad words underneath YouTube videos. But now all bets are off. It's like the Hunger Games only Justin is the getting-to-not-die and instead of weapons they're using cyber bullying tactics.

I'm just saying, Kenny better be on his A-game.**

Are you worried for the Biebs' safety? Who do you think he should date next?

*For reference, please see Never Say Never. Really. Go watch it right now. You can borrow it from me, because I own it. **Yes, I know his bodyguard's name, too, okay? Did you really not see Never Say Never?

Falling Apart When Your Bible Isn't

I grew up in church, which is probably no surprise to you considering my goodie-goodie-ness and the fact that I'm from a small town in Alabama. In church culture you hear a lot of dumb slogans. Let's just be honest. Half of them are on church signs trying to be relevant and/or clever. ("God answers knee-mail," anyone? It's ok to gag if you want.)

All these mantras have varying levels of truth but usually share one particularly large measure of the eye-roll factor.

There is one in particular that somehow stuck with me over the years:

A Bible that's falling apart usually belongs to a person who isn't.

When I was young, this just made me want to scuff up my Bible a bit--maybe slightly tear the cover and fix it with duct tape--so it would look a little more well-read. I could be super-awesome humblebrag Christian, then. "What? This old thing? Yeah, it's a little weathered, but it's just because I read my Bible so much. Don't worry about it."

I usually only remember this quote occasionally when I see someone's Bible that actually is falling apart, which happened a week or so ago.

It popped back into my mind: "A Bible that's falling apart usually belongs to a person who isn't."

And what struck me this time was how blatantly untrue that is.

I know it means well, but the more I try to figure out what they are trying to say, the more I realize you can't really skew this positively without shaming someone.

A Bible that's falling apart almost definitely belongs to a person who is also falling apart. So does every Bible.

Because everyone is falling apart in some way or another.

We're all broken, lost, shame-filled, sinful, sorrowful, struggling, tired...you name it. All of us.

Reading your Bible won't help you not fall apart. The people who wrote those words were falling apart--Paul, David, everyone.

What it will do is give you something to cling to when you are falling apart. It gives you some place solid to plant your feet--truth when everything else is uncertain, or a place to lie down and rest when you feel like you can't do it anymore.

If you're falling apart, know that you're not alone. It seems like you are because we don't tell people we're falling apart. We suck it up because "someone always has it worse than us." Which might be true on the surface, but pain is pain.

Your pain isn't less valid because of the existence of someone else's.

Don't be afraid to fall apart. We're all doing it. But, if you're open to it, you have something to cling to.

Have you ever felt like you weren't allowed to fall apart? What helps you feel peace when you do?

Post-Friday Night Lights Depression

[Melancholy Sigh]

You guys, I finished watching Friday Night Lights this week. (You may remember me starting this journey a few months ago here.)

And, as you know if you have had the privilege of watching those five seasons, I am now suffering from Post-Friday Night Lights Depression. It feels like I've lost something--or someone, and even though I had an appropriate farewell before it happened, it still hurts, you know?

As part of my healing process, I wanted to share with you my thoughts as a first-time FNL viewer closing this chapter of life.

I'm not sure where to start, because how can I boil my 5-year immersion in Dillon, Texas to a mere 500-800 words?

Out of respect for your time and eye fatigue, I suppose I will go with a list:

1. I am more invested in the East Dillon Lions than any other (actual) football team on the planet.
2. I would vote for Tami Taylor or Eric Taylor for President any day of the week. If they could tag-team it, that would be ideal.
3. I adore Tim Riggins (still), and I can't really blame a girl for trying (ahem, Becky).
4. Landry & Tyra 4-eva.
5. I read something on Facebook recently from someone who said the show is "almost too real to be scripted," and I agree wholeheartedly. At times I couldn't believe they were acting. I love that they talk over each other, have lines with no plot consequence (like Coach ranting about being out of milk while Tami argues with Julie and ignores him), and that they don't always win the games.
6. I originally hated Lyla, but I actually started being glad to see her when she came back from college simply because I felt like I know her and it was good to see a familiar face. Even though she's still KIND OF the worst. At least she brought out even more adorable qualities in Riggins.
7. Mindy (Collette) Riggins became one of my favorite characters in the last couple seasons.I love that FNL developed formerly-minor characters like her, and it didn't feel at all forced.
8. They ALWAYS kept the same actors, even for small parts or bringing back someone we hadn't seen in a while (Tyra's mom, non-essential football players, Devon, Landry's parents, etc.). The same cannot be said for other TV shows (looking at you, Boy Meets World. Topanga had three sets of parents.)
9. The series finale was brilliant and gave me all the closure I wanted, which I appreciate. I like that they didn't stray from what we as an audience wanted to see in the name of being unpredictable. They updated us on everyone we were invested in and kind of dropped us off, waved goodbye and moved on to the next story, which unfortunately, we don't get to be a part of. Like we swooped down on this town 5 years ago, had the privilege of observing it for a while, then zoomed back out and parted ways, sadly but amicably.
10. No one is perfect in this show. Not even Tami or Eric. I love that. When a character was getting into something they shouldn't, you didn't write them off, but you pleaded with them not to do it because you knew it would ultimately hurt them. I also love that even though they made mistakes, most of the characters have good hearts and find their way back to true north. I think that's how we strive to be in real life.

Bonus #11: The ONLY negative thing I could ever say about the show is the inconsistency from season to season. A lot of times it felt disjointed and we skipped so much time that it was hard to adjust. I'm sure that was easier when it was on the air and people weren't watching six episodes at a time on Netflix, but there it is. (I read an oral history of FNL that tells about how uncertain their future was as a show from season to season, so it makes more sense why that was the case.)

I could gush about FNL for another six blog posts, but suffice it to say, you guys were right. It is one of the greatest shows of all time.

Clear eyes, full hearts.

What's your favorite season of FNL? (Mine is 3 or 5)

Girl Meets World: Something Everyone Can Agree On

We 18-35-year-olds love our 90's nostalgia. So much in fact that there is now a market for anyone wishing to capitalize on that nostalgia. That capitalization starts now.

You have probably heard by now that Disney has signed on to do a pilot of a Boy Meets World spin-off (and all the land rejoiced). It's going to focus on Cory and Topanga's daughter and be titled...wait for it...Girl Meets World.

What has amazed me so far is the total lack of cynicism surrounding this news.

Usually people weigh the pros and cons when they catch wind of a revamped movie, spin-off or book-turned-movie. They consider how it could be great, but mostly how it could be terrible and destroy the integrity of everything that came before it.

I consider myself an optimist and a lover of all things warm and fuzzy, so I of course ignored the (very) tiny voice in my head that said this could be a train wreck and embraced it with open arms. But the fantastic, however illogical, thing is...so has everyone else. At least in my circle of entertainment news sources and Facebook.

EW's headline was literally: "'Boy Meets World' Disney spinoff: Great idea or the best idea?"

Preach.

No one is remotely concerned that "Girl Meets World" could actually be awful or, for that matter, even wants to entertain that idea. Because this is happening, you guys, and that's really all we could want out of life, you know? Especially with Ben Savage and Danielle Fischel on board. We're just excited at the mere possibility of this being a thing. Even Perez Hilton is pumped.

If it were any other genre or a less-beloved 90's sitcom, this would never work. There would always be someone to oppose it. But Boy Meets World is the pinnacle of all things wonderful about 90's television. It is wholly and unadulteratedly adored by anyone who grew up in the 90's.

And we are running towards it with all our might.

After all, today is election day. And I think it's important to remember that amid our devisiveness, there's something we can all agree on: a Boy Meets World is the greatest.

What character do you most hope reprises their role in the new series?

What Anna Kendrick's Terrible Oscars Experience Taught Me

One of my new favorite things is listening to podcasts while I work out. It's the perfect ratio of distraction to concentration. Enough distraction to keep my mind off the fact that I'm exercising, but it doesn't require enough concentration that I can't do both at the same time.

As part of this endeavor I have discovered Nerdist podcasts. If you're at all interested in the entertainment industry or like basically any famous actor/actress and don't mind an F-bomb here or there, I highly recommend them. They're essentially Chris Hardwick's interviews with super interesting people.

My favorites so far have been Neil Patrick Harris, Tina Fey and Anna Kendrick (not together, though that would probably be awesome).

I adore NPH and Tina Fey, so those were no surprise, but after seeing Pitch Perfect I decided I really like Anna Kendrick and listened to the interview with her.

The result was me wanting to be her best friend.

Anna Kendrick is another person who somehow manages to be only 23 but winning at life. (Others in this category include Jessie J and Emma Stone.)

She was in Twilight I think, but she's not ashamed of it, nor is it really her claim to fame. The more I listened to her, the more I liked her. She has a great head on her shoulders and I think she's a very insightful person.

What I thought was interesting was that she made a couple of points I found to be so true of our social experience as human beings, at least for me. I like that even though she is somewhat in the public eye, these ideas don't change just because you have been thrust into a spotlight.

One of these points started with a story she told about going to the Oscars.

She said it was wildly uncomfortable and she felt terrible the entire time. She's wearing a dress she can't breathe in, she's sweating up a storm, she's anxious about whether or not she'll win, she's around all these celebrities she admires---it's a totally nerve wracking experience and not fun at all.

But everyone is shoving microphones in your face asking the same question: "Isn't this the best night of your life?"

She says, essentially everyone is telling you, this is as good as it gets, so you'd better enjoy it. And she's thinking, really? this is as good as it gets? This sucks! She adds that if she were listening to the podcast I'd be like "F--- you"...but it's true. [She later said that the part that actually is as good as it gets is the acting and filming...even though she says she probably sounds like a jerk saying that, too.]

I so identify with this--the feeling that this particular experience is supposed to be something: your wedding day, your college career, Valentine's Day. And if it's not what you think it's supposed to be, you feel guilty or like you're missing out, rather than just enjoying it for what it is--even if it's not the best day of your life.

I love that she pointed this out. Because it's okay if your experience isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's ok if your Valentine's Day or prom date isn't the most magical night of your life or if your four years of college actually aren't the best of your life. Those are stereotypes.

And you feel bad for thinking, "this sucks," because someone out there doesn't have a Valentine's Day date or get to go to college. But you know what, sometimes things just suck. And that's okay. I mean, you don't have to whine about it to everyone you meet, but it's okay for it not to be what it's supposed to be.

I like that Anna didn't say what she is expected to say--that the Oscars were the best night of her life--even though it may come off as ungrateful or rude.

I don't think it's rude. It's just honesty about the way she felt. I'm not a proponent of honesty for honesty's sake. For example adding detail to a story that, though true, is unnecessary in order to get the point across and simply hurts a person further. But I think in this case, though it may not be P.C., it was totally worth being honest.

I love Chris Hardwick's response to her vocalizing that she felt like a douche saying these things. It was essentially, "But, of course you felt that way, you're a person!"

You're a person. It's okay.

Have you ever had an expereince that wasn't all it was supposed to be?

The Best Sitcom Halloween Episodes

I love holiday-themed sitcom episodes. Why not, you know? They're endearing. And while not every sitcom participates every year in every holiday, most will venture into festive territory at least once in the duration of their time on the small screen.

In honor of Halloween today, I thought I would recount my favorite Halloween episodes.

My top two are no-brainers. For the third and fourth, I crowd-sourced.

1) Friends, Season 8 - "The One With The Halloween Party"

This has actually long been my favorite episode of Friends, period. Which is saying a lot.

This episode is a perfect representation of each of their characters. Monica makes everyone dress up and come to a Halloween party at her house, in true Monica fashion, and each person dresses up as something that encapsulates their personalities:

Joey: Dresses up as Chandler. ["I'm Chandler! Bleharhhrrrr!"] Monica: Dresses up as catwoman in a black catsuit [and later tries to convince Joey she could beat up Phoebe by telling him to punch her in the stomach as hard as he can.] Phoebe: Dresses up as superwoman Rachel: Wears a cocktail dress because she is pregnant and wants to get use out of it before she can't wear it again. Ross: Spud-nik (or as everyone else calls it, Space Doodie) Chandler: The Velveteen Rabbit aka Pink Fluffy Bunny [Monica: "Well, it was either pink bunny or no bunny at all!" Chandler: "No bunny at all! Always no bunny at all!"]

I've memorized this entire episode, so I won't quote the whole thing to you, but the episode features Rachel trying to be good with kids in preparation for being pregnant but terrifying them instead, Ross and Chandler engaging in a pathetic arm wrestling match, and Phoebe hitting on her twin sister's sweaty boyfriend (Sean Penn) who is dressed as a solar system.

It's a fantastic representation of Friends as a whole, and I love it.

2) Community, Season 1 - "Introduction to Statistics"

I think this episode won a lot of people over on Community.

Britta wears a full body squirrel costume (note that this is not "sexy squirrel." Just squirrel.) and carries around a giant acorn the entire time, which is priceless in light of her personality, but the real shining star of this episode is Abed's spot-on Christian Bale Batman impression. His moment arrives when Pierce, in his usual attempts to be hip, trades pills with Starburns and gets high, then constructs a fort out of study room furniture and needs to be rescued from his own nightmare. Abed/Batman swoops in and saves the day, dragging Pierce out of the crumbling fort just before it collapses on top of him.

The whole thing is overdramatic and silly, in the way only Community can accomplish.

3) Modern Family, Season 2 - "Halloween"

I was reminded of this episode on Facebook, and I can't believe I didn't remember it sooner.

Mitchell has the impending-disaster storyline (which always make me anxious) of wearing a costume to work and realizing no one else does it, then attempting to conceal it all day.

Gloria gets made fun of by Manny and Jay for her accent, so she spends the entire end-scene at Claire's haunted house doing a hilarious version of an American accent and over-enunciating the phrase "Welcome to your nightmare! Ha ha ha ha!"

The episode culminates in Claire (who for some reason adores Halloween) assigning everyone a task at the haunted house, and of course no one is cooperating well due to the day's earlier traumatic events. Phil is worried that Claire is going to divorce him because his neighbor got a divorce, so he's emotional and misreads everything she does and says. Cam recounts his traumatic halloween experience which until then he'd been to falsely-proud to tell the story even though he desperately wanted to all day. Hayley is of course being a tool because she's a teenage girl. It's mayhem.

Until somehow it all comes together, of course, the storylines merge and they have a successful haunted house.

4. Boy Meets World, Season 5 - "And Then There Was Shawn"

This isn't technically a "Halloween" episode, but it's a parody of scary movies, so I say it counts.

In this episode, the gang is stuck in a school with a mysterious killer on the loose. Corey and Topanga are broken up, Angela screams a lot, and the best part--Jennifer Love Hewitt guest-stars as Jennifer Love Fefferman. It's filled with references that break the 4th wall and ultimately they learn something about friendship that is currently escaping me.The guys also have some image-shattering conversation about virgins being the ones to live, in which Eric and Jack say they're dead and Shawn says he'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying. Why can't they just let me go on thinking they never do anything unwholesome?

What are your favorite Halloween episodes?

Botanists Name Fern After Lady Gaga

It's what every girl dreams of, really. When we're six years old, we sit on our tufted window seat (all great reveries involve window seats), gaze through the raindrops trickling down the glass panes and sigh, "one day, my prince will come…and I'll be so famous a fern will be named after me." Seriously, is there any higher honor in all the world?

Having stars named after you is for amateurs. Anyone can do that. But a fern? That stuff's real.

I wrote that romanticized introduction to tell you that botanists have named a fern after Lady Gaga.

Their explanation for this nonsense was 1) that this fern, like Lady Gaga, is gender-ambiguous or something and 2) it has a DNA sequence that spells out GAGA. So logically naming it after someone who got prosthetic horns on her cheeks was the next step in this process.

Not only am I surprised that botanists know who Lady Gaga is, but I am also concerned as to what this means for the scientific community and the rest of society.

CONCERNS AND/OR QUESTIONS:

1. In the future, are botanists going to have to reference Lady Gaga in a lab somewhere, long after she is remotely relevant? "Um, yes, that's the rare Lady Gaga. It first appeared in 2012, marking the first signs of the rapid decline of any remaining integrity in the field of science, and has been thriving in the pot next to the Cee Lo ever since." [SIDE NOTE: Also already in the mix are Soulja Boy Tell 'Ems and Ludacrises, named by none other than Tom Haverford in Season 2 of Parks and Rec.]
2. School children will be sitting in their hover-chairs watching a hologram and learning about these green things that used to grow (has no one seen Wall-E?) and be forced to ask who Lady Gaga was. Who wants to be the one to explain that?
3. Was this a totally rash decision? Will these botanists be excommunicated from the rest of the botanical community due to the fact that they ventured too far into popular culture, playing to the least common denominator? OR will they be hailed as heroes for getting botany back in the news? (Really, it's been too long, am I right?)
4. I feel like if you're going to name a plant after Lady Gaga it's got to be loud and colorful and oddly shaped. A fern? Really? Those sad-looking (because they hang down) plain old plants that hang on porches across suburbia? Ask one million people what their favorite plant is and you'll get a million answers. Almost certainly none of them will be "fern."
5. If you want a plant to be awesome, throw caution to the wind and just name it Beyonce. That thing will survive. I guarantee at least 13 percent of 6th graders will change what they want to be when they grow up immediately. And maybe you could even cross-pollenate with a Jay-Z plant (which you'd have to add if you're going to do this) and create (wait for it...) BLUE IVY. HEYO! I should totally be a botanist. Or just a plant-namer.

So…like, what happens now? They just go on calling this plant Gaga or they say "jay kay jay kay you guys, that was good for the news story but let's go back to calling it oeaihfdsoahfoashguiasdfpjo [unintelligible]."

I suppose only time will tell. I for one am going to track down a botanist (because I know zero) in about six months and see if they still know what I'm talking about.

Who do you wish they would name a plant after?

P.S. Today is my husband's and my 2nd anniversary!! He is the best and I'm so glad I married him. Just had to let everyone know. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.