Alert the media! [and Lydia's SGF]

Attention world: I have successfully completed a novel. Well, by that I mean I have successfully finished reading a novel. And not just any novel: Pride and Prejudice. That is a legit novel. A classic, if you will. And I finished it right to the very last word. This may not seem like an accomplishment to you, dear reader, but to me reading a book from cover to cover is rare. I always start reading them, get distracted and forget to come back to it. But this year one of my goals was to read two books. Yes, two. Bite-sized goals here, people. 9-5 jobs are not conducive to afternoon reads in the park. But then when you accomplish these bite-sized goals you can say, “Hooray! I accomplished my goal!” Instead of, “Aw man, I knew 4 books a day was too ambitious.” So, there you have it. And okay, I may have started this book in January but..the point is I finished it.

Big thanks to my dear friend [and English major] Nicole for lending me a good book to read.

I feel accomplished. Also I will finally be able to say I have read Pride and Prejudice, which apparently every other girl my age has read and loves. Now I can say that I do, too. Even though I thought it was a little anticlimactic, I still enjoyed it. And you feel smart for reading (and comprehending) it because the language is so formal.

P.S. I think Lydia needed a Sassy Gay Friend. Yes? (see this video if you don’t know what I am referring to.) I think it would have gone down like this:

SGF: What, What, What are you doing?? Lydia: [giggle] I’m going off in secret with a man I barely know in the hopes that he will end up marrying me whilst simultaneously bringing shame upon my family! Isn’t that just grand? I laugh just thinking about how the others will react! [giggle] SGF: First of all, gag. Second of all, you have got a lot more going for you than that giggle, young lady! You need to respect yourself and your family and stop throwing yourself at army men! Lydia: But I know not what else to find pleasure in! I love men! My whole life is centered around getting married! SGF: Girlfriend, you have got to know when to hike up your petticoat and get. a. job. You don’t need a man! You need some self-esteem. Lydia: A…job? A woman…working? SGF: Girl get with the victorian times! You are a strong, powerful woman. Now get out there and find some self worth! Lydia: Okay! I will! SGF: Good for youuu! [to the camera] She’s a stupid —- —-. (I can’t in good conscience type that on my blog, but if you’ve seen the videos you know what he should say there.)