Possible Career Paths for Manny from Modern Family

Photobucket Manny Delgado is a man like none other. He dons a burgundy dinner jacket. He writes poetry. He drinks espresso. He's 4 feet, 11 inches of pure class.

But you can't make any money for being the embodiment of suave. As Manny gets older, he's going to want to start thinking about a career path.

Luckily, I'm here to help him out with that. Given his current interests and personality, and considering the fact that most typical work environments would probably get him beat up, here are a few of my suggestions:

-Professor of Love (Or Paleontology) First of all, Manny is a connoisseur of the ladies. They may not always appreciate his charm, but we all know he's got it. That's enough qualification right there. That, combined with the image I can't shake of Future Manny wearing a jacket with suede elbow patches, leads me to believe he'd make a perfect Professor of Love. Perhaps with an accompanying video series, which I feel like would be on VHS even though that technology would be about 25 years too old by then.

Though if no one in 2022 is in the market for such a person, either because we've all been desensitized to real feelings by the media or we only interact via the internet, I would suggest Professor of Paleontology as a backup. Mostly just because of the suede elbow patches. And the fact that Manny once had a reptile as a pet.

-Greeting card poem writer This profession allows Manny to utilize his passion for the metered word to bring joy to millions. To bring an air of sophistication back to the greeting card industry among the hordes of Awkward Family Photo birthday cards, beer-related jokes and the various array of "you're HOW old?" cards. (Which, by the way, are we STILL doing that? Really guys? Does anyone even buy those cards anymore? Someone should get fired.)

-Golf attire model Is there anyone that sports one of those knit hats with the pom-pom or a pastel-colored sweater vest better than Manny Delgado? I submit that there is not. Think of the possibilities: catalogs, websites, commercials, billboards, holograms (it's the future, guys)! Everywhere you go, it's MANNY. Just Manny.

His fame will grow so exponentially that only a first name will be required. Easter-colored golf attire will even make a comeback among professionals. Who doesn't want to see The Next Tiger Woods rock the pink-and-green plaid? And we'll have Manny to thank. And me, for suggesting it. So, you're welcome, The Next Tiger Woods. You're welcome.

-Cliche generator Do you ever wonder how cliches even get started? How do they become a thing? I have no idea, but I do know that many cliches eventually just drop out of the language gradually until no one says them anymore. Like "on the double!" (I learned that from A Christmas Story.)

I do not want the rich tapestry of the English language to unravel because no one is bothering to come up with new cliches. Enter Manny Delgado. I can think of no one better at perpetuating cliches than him, due to the nature of these gems:

"She's like a dream, wrapped in a wish, poured into jeggings."

"You're playing fast and loose with my soul."

"You have a laugh that makes science class seem like recess."

-Advice columnist I, for one, would read "Dear Manny" every week if it appeared in my paper. Boy's got some wisdom. Due to the nature of his old soul, when Manny is 22, it will seem more like he's 62. Think of all the knowledge he will have in that season of life! Oh, the things he will have seen! Who wouldn't listen to a 62-year-old's advice? Well, stubborn hoodlums, that's who. But stubborn hoodlums don't read the paper, so I think we're safe.

So Manny, you're welcome. You have a plethora of career paths to choose from thanks to yours truly. Go forth and continue your legacy wherever life may take you.

What other suggestions do you have for Manny?