I know what you're thinking. ANOTHER story about eyebrows? I mean, we can't get away from them, right? Can't we just focus on what really matters, like wars and elections and (apparently) Lindsay Lohan? Well, I'm sorry to inundate you with more eyebrow news, but this is hard-hitting analysis, here.
Demi Lovato's eyebrows have GONE ROGUE, you guys. First they're thin, then they're "full," then they're thin again, then BAM it's like Ron Swanson's mustache cloned itself and jumped onto her face.
Buzzfeed has been so kind as to aggregate all the eyebrows and compare them for us here.
Note: there are SEVERAL more gifs on the Buzzfeed article. I implore you to take a minute to view them, then come back to my post.
I just don't understand. I have so many questions.
1) How do you…replace that much eyebrow hair so quickly? Are there special eyebrow-enhancing devices? If so, are they sold exclusively in SkyMall? And who is their demographic? Is Demi now being sought as their spokesperson? Or did some poor intern-slave at the X factor have to pick up all the plucked hairs from the week before off of the floor and carefully glue them back on her face?
2) Is eyebrow style a thing now? Like, you can change it on a whim, then change it back without raising any…wait for it…eyebrows? Did Lady Gaga not know about this? Or did she just skip a few steps and shave hers off altogether? All of a sudden I can't remember if Lady Gaga has eyebrows...
3) Who is in charge of Demi's eyebrows, and why is this person so indecisive? Commit, already, eyebrow lady (or man. Not here to judge). We need to know if they're going to be old-lady-painted-on-thin or full-on-hair-monster so we as a society can judge this girl appropriately.
4) I like that someone at Buzzfeed sat around and examined Demi's eyebrows enough to compile this series of images detailing their fluctuating size. How do I get a job at that place?
5) Did she increase her eyebrow size because the people performing on stage couldn't see them well enough and therefore were unsure of her reaction to their performance? Maybe it's all about the kids, you guys. Maybe she's enduring these muppet eyebrows for the greater good. Maybe we should give her a medal of honor for it and crown her the queen of eyebrows. I don't know. I don't think this has ever been done before, so just go with it.
Has anyone ever written this many words about eyebrows? They're strips of hair above our eyes that convey emotion. Wow. Eyebrows are pretty amazing if you think about it. Let's all just reflect on the significance of eyebrows for a minute.
Which eyebrows are your favorite eyebrows? I like the "full" ones. Not to be confused with "thick" or "I think there are caterpillars on your face!"