Speculations on Beyonce's $50 Mil Pepsi Deal

I've decided that since I talk so much about Beyonce on this here blog of mine as it is, it's high time I just embrace it and make it a thing. So without further ado, I present to you...

Your source for day-old headlines and unsolicited commentary about the world's greatest entertainer SLASH user-of-on-stage-wind-machines.

(These articles now fall into that category, whether she is the main subject or just a reference: Letter to BabyonceBotonists Name Fern After Lady Gaga, Um...who is casting The Talk? )

Today in Beyonce News, you may have heard that she has signed a $50 million deal with Pepsi, which is being touted as "MORE than just an endorsement" because they're going to fund her creative projects or something.

Though I'm not sure how that's entirely different, because I'm almost certain if they paid her $50 million just to be on their billboards and do a TV spot or two, the money would still be used to fund her creative endeavors (and pay for babyonce's ivy league education or…y'know…freelance spacepod decorator business. Whatever rich heirs do in 2032.)

Putting aside the fact that Beyonce probably hasn't drunk soda in over a decade, she has to know that Coke and all its subsidiaries are irrefutably, inherently better than Pepsi and its counterparts.

She's from Texas, dang it. In this case, I consider that the South, and southerners should know such things.

So admittedly I'm a little disappointed in her. But I'm willing to overlook this momentary (50-million-dollar) lapse in judgment in the hopes that something good comes of it.

This probably would have excited me:



But then I remembered I drink Diet Coke exclusively. Seriously, if a fast food restaurant has Pepsi, it's a dealbreaker for me. We will drive to the next Chic-fil-A or Burger King. (Lookin' at you, Arby's.)

So alas, I will not be able to take part in these delightful Beyonce cans.

The article does say that she will be involved creatively, so who knows what could happen next.

A short film loosely based on the inner turmoil of Destiny's Child (with not-so-subtle Pepsi logos plastered across buildings in the background)?

A vending machine where you have to learn a Beyonce dance move and perform it in order for your drink to dispense? (That one could use Kinect technology and be a triple-cross-promotion. I'm a marketing genius, you guys.)

A Pepsi-sponsored trip to Nashville for Beyonce and family where they show up at my house and we become best friends? What? I don't know. It could happen. I'm giving Pepsi lots of free publicity here, against my better judgment. (Long live Diet Coke.)


Coming up this season on... Beyonce News: The HBO documentary. Guys, this is going to be awesome. Stay tuned for updates on #beyoncedocwatch2012.

Oh, AND the Superbowl performance. GET EXCITED.

She makes it super easy to have an amateur news segment about.

Would you buy a Pepsi can with Beyonce's face on it? Why or why not?