Guys, I'm worried about Will Smith. His kids are ruining his life.
It's not all their fault. I mean, he's responsible for them. And his career. But listen, there was a time when Will Smith was a respected actor.
Remember when he was in Pursuit of Happyness? Remember how everyone revered him as a talented actor and not just the guy from Hitch and Men in Black? Remember how he probably thought this was just the beginning of the rest of his life?
He was wrong. I'd like to suggest that instead it was the peak of his career and since then it's been a slow, subtle downward spiral.
And it all comes back to his kids.
Jaden was IN Pursuit of Happyness. A cute, non-consequential minor role. Now, he and his sister are just scowl-faced fashion emergencies rapping about God knows what and Will has to just stand around going "that's my baby!" like he's proud or something.
Well let me tell you, he should not be proud. He should be disciplining. Because people are starting to lose confidence in him. I'm starting lose confidence in him. I'm worried I'm not taking him seriously anymore.
I'm genuinely nervous that he's falling off the radar and slipping into some kind of crazy uncle will status where he's always talking about the good ol' days when he was on Fresh Prince.
I mean seriously have you seen how many times he's rapped in public lately?
It was funny and amazing the first time when it was special because he never did it. It's not so funny and amazing when you take a mic from the house band on Letterman after you've ALREADY started rapping over your intro music and they just kind of let it happen and throw you a mic because you are STILL rapping without one.
It's just sad, Will. Kinda sad.
I'm sure it's hard when your kids are such attention-hogs (full disclosure: I learn everything I know about them from Suri's Burn Book) to not grab mics and be all "REMEMBER ME YOU GUYS I USED TO RAP" but come on Will. It's not classy and you know it.
Let's put on our big boy pants, man up and do a real movie. Not some weird M. Night Shyamalan buddy-cop-type thing with your son where you're actually the one riding HIS coattails and your name is Cypher Raige. I'm just saying, it's not cute. He should be greedily using YOUR fame to get ahead, not the other way around.
I don't think anyone has noticed his gradual drop off because of the flashy ego-parade that is his children, but I am noticing, Will, and I think you should step it up.
No more gratuitous rapping on late-night shows. No more movies co-starring with your son.
Real live grown-up movies.
You can do it, Will. We believe in you.
What's your favorite Will Smith movie?