machines

What I Will Expect From My Amazon Drone

HT_amazon_prime_drone_jef_131202_16x9_992 By now you’ve probably seen the video introducing the Amazon.com “drones” which they plan on eventually having deliver packages to you if you select the “Amazon Prime air” option, which guarantees delivery in an hour.

The little machines pick up the package at the warehouse, then literally FLY to your house and drop it on your doorstep. [here’s the video if you haven’t seen it]

WHAT THE WHAT.

Other than the obvious fear that this is one step closer to being ruled by the machines we created, this is a pretty amazing innovation.

It got me thinking. If Amazon drones can do this, what other kinds of things could these be used for?

Could they carry my groceries to me? It would take a larger one to support the weight of the bags, but I think it could be done. I place an order online, the grocery people fill up the bags and attach it to the drone. The drone delivers them to me. Bam. Grocery shopping—aka one of my least favorite tasks in the world—eliminated.

Could they return movies to redbox for me? Could they pick up my prescriptions?

Can it be like my very own Harry Potter owl that I can give a name and will do my bidding? Like, “aw man, sorry girl, I totally forgot to come by and drop off that sweater I borrowed when I was out. OH WAIT let me just have Hedwig (my drone) bring it to you.” DONE AND DONE.

Are they trainable? If so this opens up a whole new realm of possibility. Can I get it to stand upright and learn how to vacuum our house? Can it feed our cat when we’re not home? Can it change the channel for me when I can’t find the remote? Can it go get me water from the kitchen when I’m all the way in the living room on the couch? Can I use spells as commands?

I might never have to leave my bed again, you guys.

I mean sure, personal servant drones will probably be expensive when they first come out, but maybe Oprah will see the need for them and just start passing them out. “YOU get a drone! and YOU get a drone!” It could happen. I mean we have DRONES delivering our packages in less than an hour, and Auburn returned a field goal kick with one second left to win against Alabama, so ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

Until then I guess I will keep getting my OWN groceries, like a common peasant. But I will be holding out for Hedwig, my future servant drone. Dreams are important to have, guys.

What would you get your servant drone to do for you?