My Facebook Looks Terrible And Yours Doesn't

I don't like change. It's no big secret. I'm trying to learn how to not be so afraid of it, but it takes time, you know? DON'T RUSH ME. Needless to say, even though it is inevitable, I am always grumpy when Facebook decides to change its layout once again. I have, for the most part, ceased complaining (publicly), because after all, it is free, and they're going to change it whether we like it or not. We'll all complain for a couple weeks, then move on. After a day I rarely remember what it looked like before anyway.

So several months ago, this happened to me again. Of course, I hated it, but I had no recourse. What's done was done.

Assuming everyone had the same problem as me, I may have complained once or twice, but accepted my fate.

Soon I began noticing my friends' Facebook interfaces were not the same as mine. Hm, weird, I thought. But I figured they would get it soon enough and be in misery just like me.

The days soon turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months. Still, I seemed to be the only one whose Facebook looked like this:

FB edited Click the image to get the full effect

The black bar and janky partial header photo are particularly off-putting.

The header photo seems to have no rhyme or reason as to why it is chosen. Sometimes it is half someone's body. Sometimes it is someone's creepster eyes. In that case, I usually screen shot it and send it to whoever it is. Or whoever's kid it is. Because it's hilariously terrifying.

Screen shot 2014-01-21 at 12.18.07 PM

Shout out to JButt.

Each time, those people say "WHAT IS THIS WHY DOES YOUR FACEBOOK LOOK LIKE THIS?" And again I am reminded I am alone in the universe of wonky Facebook profiles.

Until now, I had no idea why.

But this--this is how my life works, if you're wanting a glimpse into the glamorous life of Laura K. McClellan. This is an example of the terrible luck I've been living with nearly all my life.

According to this article, Facebook had intended on using this redesign and gradually rolling it out to people. They chose a minuscule percentage of Facebook users (HOLLA) to, for whatever reason, get it first.

Months later, they have apparently decided to ABANDON THIS DESIGN and NOT roll it out to anyone else. They are going to keep working on a design and put a new one out WHO KNOWS WHEN.

So for those of you playing along at home, I am one of probably 42 poor wretches on the face of the planet stuck with this HORRENDOUS design.


Am I still using it? YES. But I will not be happy about it.

Do you complain about Facebook (or other site) redesigns? Do you know anyone else with this atrocity, or is it really just me out here? (I'll let you know if your eyes appear at the top of my news feed.)

*This is intended to be humorous and in no way a serious jab against the leader of the free world, in case you are reading this, NSA. Or that organization Huck worked for in Scandal. Luh you.

Making Fun of Hipsters Has Gone Mainstream


I have some news, you guys.

It's the latest installment of my probably-inconsequential observations about the human experience. At least for today.

I don't know if you've noticed this too, but there's a trend growing in them there hills, and it's spreading like wildfire:

Making fun of hipsters.

For a while, I think the majority of America didn't have access to hipsterdom. But it's not their fault. Until recently, the radio didn't play bands like Of Monsters and Men or Gotye or Bon Iver. Thick-rimmed glasses didn't really see the light of suburbia. But I think because hipster culture is being pushed into the spotlight (I say pushed because I imagine it is unwelcome), the masses are more and more aware of it.

I think knowing about hipster culture and subsequently mocking it is the new referencing-Facebook-in-real-life.

What I mean by that is, we used to reference Facebook in casual conversation as a way to note that we were in on The Latest Thing. This was before Facebook just let any yahoo with an email address sign up. No, no. These were the good ol' days, when Facebook was just for college students and app invites and timelines didn't exist. Remember Mini-Feeds? Remember our outrage? Sigh. If there was a Facebook Purist Party represented in this election, I would totally vote in favor of that person.

Anyway. Back in, say, 2007, we bashfully-but-secretly-cleverly threw out phrases like, "tag me!" and "wrote on my Facebook wall" both to ensure we got a copy of that picture from the party and to demonstrate the fact that we were ON FACEBOOK you guys.

Now Facebook is so engrained in our culture it's no longer clever to refer to it.

So I propose that mocking hipster culture is now serving that purpose.

It made an appearance in Taylor Swift's new song. I've seen "hipster" be a party theme multiple times via Facebook photos. It's woven throughout my news feed in the form of jokes.* It's all over Stuff Christians Like (sorry Jon. I'm not complaining, but it's true.). And you know when something has permeated Christian pop culture (it's a thing), it is officially behind the cool kid curve.

I'm not really sure what my point to this is other than to recognize that this is happening.

Though I will say that lately my definition of a hipster has gotten a little hazy. I feel like it's probably not hipster to be a cliche hipster, which now exists thanks to all the reasons I've mentioned above (Includes, but not limited to: fixed gear bicycles, holga cameras, thick-rimmed glasses, vintage clothes, ironic mustaches, vinyl records, suspenders). So what is a true hipster? Are all stylish 20-somethings in Nashville hipsters? Is my view totally skewed because I live in Nashville? I wear lots of v-necks and unnecessary scarves. Am I a hipster? This is getting super meta and existential and I think I need to get out while I can.

Have you noticed this trend? Where have you seen it play out?


*Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool. HEYO.