My Facebook Looks Terrible And Yours Doesn't

I don't like change. It's no big secret. I'm trying to learn how to not be so afraid of it, but it takes time, you know? DON'T RUSH ME. Needless to say, even though it is inevitable, I am always grumpy when Facebook decides to change its layout once again. I have, for the most part, ceased complaining (publicly), because after all, it is free, and they're going to change it whether we like it or not. We'll all complain for a couple weeks, then move on. After a day I rarely remember what it looked like before anyway.

So several months ago, this happened to me again. Of course, I hated it, but I had no recourse. What's done was done.

Assuming everyone had the same problem as me, I may have complained once or twice, but accepted my fate.

Soon I began noticing my friends' Facebook interfaces were not the same as mine. Hm, weird, I thought. But I figured they would get it soon enough and be in misery just like me.

The days soon turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months. Still, I seemed to be the only one whose Facebook looked like this:

FB edited Click the image to get the full effect

The black bar and janky partial header photo are particularly off-putting.

The header photo seems to have no rhyme or reason as to why it is chosen. Sometimes it is half someone's body. Sometimes it is someone's creepster eyes. In that case, I usually screen shot it and send it to whoever it is. Or whoever's kid it is. Because it's hilariously terrifying.

Screen shot 2014-01-21 at 12.18.07 PM

Shout out to JButt.

Each time, those people say "WHAT IS THIS WHY DOES YOUR FACEBOOK LOOK LIKE THIS?" And again I am reminded I am alone in the universe of wonky Facebook profiles.

Until now, I had no idea why.

But this--this is how my life works, if you're wanting a glimpse into the glamorous life of Laura K. McClellan. This is an example of the terrible luck I've been living with nearly all my life.

According to this article, Facebook had intended on using this redesign and gradually rolling it out to people. They chose a minuscule percentage of Facebook users (HOLLA) to, for whatever reason, get it first.

Months later, they have apparently decided to ABANDON THIS DESIGN and NOT roll it out to anyone else. They are going to keep working on a design and put a new one out WHO KNOWS WHEN.

So for those of you playing along at home, I am one of probably 42 poor wretches on the face of the planet stuck with this HORRENDOUS design.


Am I still using it? YES. But I will not be happy about it.

Do you complain about Facebook (or other site) redesigns? Do you know anyone else with this atrocity, or is it really just me out here? (I'll let you know if your eyes appear at the top of my news feed.)

*This is intended to be humorous and in no way a serious jab against the leader of the free world, in case you are reading this, NSA. Or that organization Huck worked for in Scandal. Luh you.