Why Taylor Kitsch Would Never Be Allowed in Saudi Arabia

Oh, Middle East. You never cease to amaze us with your level of crazy. Some guys apparently strolled over from the fancy pants United Arab Emirates for some festival all glowing with handsomeness and some authorities like radioed over their walkie talkies CHHHH we got a Code Gosling over here, repeat, Code Gosling over CHHHH and they all convened around these guys and escorted them straight out the country because their handsomeness was a menace to society.

According to the article, the men were deemed "too handsome" because apparently Saudi women would just not be able to control themselves and would fall for these men and the entire structure of their social society would collapse because of it. Naturally, they had to go.

First of all I would be indignant if I were a Saudi man standing nearby.

"What am I, chopped liver? I'M RIGHT HERE. I mean seriously, those guys? My beard is twice the beard their beards will ever be. Just look at me. I radiate handsomeness and no one is kicking ME out of the country. I can't believe I bought a new tunic for this. I'm going home to eat my feelings in baklava."

Second of all, are other countries going to start adopting this policy?

If the U.S. does we are in deep trouble. Tim Riggins should probably sleep with one eye open. I'm just saying, Taylor Kitsch, no one wants you to go back to Canada. Really. A straw poll survey of my Twitter feed suggests you have a 100 percent approval rating in this country.

I also like how these authorities determined what an objective level of attractiveness is that would warrant being kicked out of the country (What is the line? Do clothes factor in?). I suppose your goal in Saudi Arabia would be to assume a high level of attractiveness without being SO attractive that you call attention to yourself. So like, um, Nick from New Girl or something I guess.

I also like that rather than letting these guys fly under the radar as in-cognito Handsomes, they drew even more attention to them by forcibly removing them from the country. If the women didn't notice them before, they sure did after policemen started escorting them out.

Man. It's hard to be pretty in Saudi Arabia. Who knew?

Pretty people everywhere, let this be a warning to you. Either tone it down or stay the heck out of Saudi.

I mean honestly what would they even do if like David Beckham or Justin Bieber strolled in? I honestly don't even think the Biebs is very attractive, but assuming Saudi Arabian women and girls have any access to media whatsoever and know who he is, there would surely be a riot, right? I mean there are riots in first world countries over that guy.

If handsome nobodys are banned, I suppose handsome somebodys are EXTRA banned.

Poor U.A.E. handsome guys. They just wanted to enjoy the festival and eat a funnel cake or something. Guess you gotta ugly it up if you want to party at the Jenadrivah Heritage & Cultural Festival.

If this were a law in the U.S., who do you think would be escorted out first? (I suppose truthfully this would only apply to foreigners, but let's pretend it applies to handsome people across the board.)